Tonight I Believe
by Infusiion
Summary: The pain continued relentlessly, but even more predominant was the fear that I was dreaming – or worse, that she might decide I was a lost cause, an irreparable break; AliceBella, set during the chapter 'Visitor' in New Moon.


If I closed my eyes and concentrated on each breath, my body was filled with the sweet, luxurious scent. His scent. If I let my mind focus on the hard, marble embrace and cold seeping through my skin, it was almost as if I were immersed completely in those memories; when my days and nights consisted only of me and him. Of eating, drinking, plodding through all of my human necessities and trivialities, just to see his face, or hear my name on his lips.

Pain tore through me stronger than ever, the gaping hole raw in my chest, ripped open as I let down the barriers. But I couldn't have cared less at that moment. I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears and gripped Alice tighter, never wanting to let go. She pressed her lips to my hair soothingly, just as he'd done so many times before.

My fingers dug harder into Alice's shoulder. What I wouldn't give for one more kiss of those cold, hard lips. I longed to feel them pressed against mine, to feel the rush, the exhilaration, the sheer closeness, the life pulsing through my veins. Alice shifted absentmindedly against my hair, exhaling gently.

Suddenly I was hyper-aware of her body against mine; her stone limbs, her too-even breathing, her pale, full mouth...

"Bella," her voice was lower than usual and edged with caution. My eyes snapped open to meet hers.

She stared down at me through honey-coloured irises, her face wary. I kept my expression even as my lingering tears rolled free, forgotten. I wasn't going to pretend -- I knew what she'd just envisioned.

"Please," my fingers grew lighter, my eyes deeper. The pain continued relentlessly, but even more predominant was the fear that I was dreaming -- or worse, that she might decide I was a lost cause -- an irreparable break -- and leave. I didn't doubt for a second that another blow would irrevocably shatter me.

She continued to bore into my eyes, the dim light bulb overhead throwing her pale features into soft relief. She looked so small, so vulnerable, so alone. It was a testament to her situation that she appeared so utterly human; if it weren't for the iron grip in which I was enveloped I might have believed it.

I knew her visions weren't run on a one-way circuit, but still I held my breath as her compassionate nature and analytical mind fought for control. A shiver ran through me, and fresh tears began to swell. Out the corner of my eye loomed the single armchair -- the one he'd sat on all those moons ago -- looking every bit as empty and desolate as I had become.

Alice's eyes closed for the briefest of moments, but her face was set. Her topaz gaze sought me out, drinking in my tear-streaked face, my broken eyes, my lost expression. She started to drift from my sight as my eyes dropped and I prepared to collapse within myself.

Two cold, stone hands cupped my face gently, tilting it upwards as she touched her cold lips to my forehead, my cheeks, my mouth. There was no thundering in my chest, no attack, no forgetting to breathe -- just urgency as I pulled myself closer to her, searching her mouth with my own, and relief as the familiar coolness spread soothingly through my veins. The pain was all but forgotten as something flared deep within me, letting loose a flurry of emotion and scattered images not unlike a roll of film. My heartbeat was steady, strong, mine.

After an eternal moment Alice broke away softly, an echo of warmth across her cheeks. Her timeless eyes were gentle.

"Sleep, Bella." She murmured, smoothing my back with one hand as the other lowered me to the couch. "You need to rest now," her voice was soft but firm in my ear. "I'm not leaving you."

And as my eyes, suddenly heavy with exhaustion, closed and my body relaxed between the couch and her sleepless frame, I knew I could trust her.

_-- _

_(for the record, I'm sorry I suck at titles)_


End file.
